Passion of the Josh
by KupTeraz
Summary: Josh and his brother Drake embark on an epic quest to ascend into ascend into godhood. Shoutout to Simpleflips


"So, why exactly are we picking up a nuclear bomb from the post office?" inquired Drake

"Craig and Eric need it for a science project," Josh responded.

Two brothers (well, actually stepbrothers) continued to banter amongst themselves in the car as their journey to the post office continued. Drake was a high school hunk. He was tall, skinny, played guitar, was lead vocalist in a rock band, and all-around was the embodiment of a chick magnet. Josh on the other hand, was short, portly, and had a perm of black, curly hair.

As a student, Drake was everything a teacher hated: lazy, disobedient, and not terribly bright. Josh earned straight-As, was loved by his teachers, and put more effort into his schoolwork than he did taking care of himself. It was so unfair to him that Drake was so popular and was going so many wonderful places in life while he was stuck in the same rut he was in… just unfair…

"Exactly what kind of science project requires the use of a nuclear bomb?" Drake asked.

"Who cares? Let's just deliver it to them and go home." Josh quipped in response.

"Craig and Eric can't get it themselves?"

"They're busy. They asked me to get it for them."

"Why are you dragging me along then?"

"You know how heavy a weapon capable of leveling entire cities is?"

"I have recording sessions with my band today!"

"Oh I forgot how important that was Drake, especially seeing as how you only show up to those sessions like half the time anyway because you're busy with all your girlfriends."

Josh tried pulling into a free space, but another driver cut him off.

"Oh come on!" Josh yelled with frustration clearly present in his voice,

Josh slammed on the horn and shot a particular hand gesture at the other driver as he drove past him. Josh spent 7 minutes meandering around the parking lot waiting for a free space. He found one and aggressively claimed it. He opened the doors and stormed out of the car with his brother and entered the post office.

The chilly air of the post office made Drake shiver, he rubbed the top of his arms to keep warm. Drake and Josh waited in line for what seemed like an eternity until making it up to the front desk. Greeting them was a cute college girl with round cheeks dotted with a beauty mark and glistening brown eyes topped with long, curly, auburn hair.

"Welcome to the post office! What can I do for you?" she said with a disgustingly infectious smile.

"You can give me your number gorgeous!" Drake quipped making growl noises afterward.

The girl giggled and blushed, Josh elbowed Drake aggressively.

"We're here to pick up an order for Craig and Eric." announced Josh.

"We had an order by that name come by for those names a couple minutes ago!" she informed with fake glee.

She entered a storage room and wheeled out a large, rectangular box

"Will you carry one side?" requested Josh,

"Only if you get the other side." Drake responded.

They both knew a weapon capable of wiping cities off the face of the Earth wouldn't exactly be a cakewalk, but they both felt like their arms were being pulled off from the immense weight. After a few minutes of excruciating lifting, they placed the bomb into the back of the car and drove to their high school where the science fair was being held. They then met up with Craig and Eric. Craig and Eric were nerds. Craig had stupid curly hair and a striped polo shirt with khaki pants, and Eric wore glasses and had his his hair gelled and combed to the side, also wearing a polo with khakis.

"What took you so long?" nagged Craig,

"The science fair is starting in 5 minutes!" Eric informed.

"Long line at the post office…" Josh sighed, "Now let's get that nuke out!"

The four of them pulled out the box and pried it open with crowbars, revealing the huge, pill-shaped shell of bright-silver steel.

"You have the detonator?" asked Eric

"Sure do!" responded Craig.

Craig rubbed his hands together excitedly,

"This science fair is going to be a blast! Get it? Blast?"

Josh yanked the detonator out of the nerd's hand.

"What are you doing?!" Eric panicked.

Josh pulled out a can of super glue spray, which was like super glue, but a spray. He sprayed the nerd's hands and stuck them to the bomb Josh then pressed the red button on the detonator and he and Drake jumped on a hover board.

The two of them flew off on the hover board as the school was eaten from the inside by a giant ball of nuclear flame. A deafening boom echoed across the sky and a mushroom cloud formed. The hover board brought them home. Drake stepped off the hover board, still flabbergasted at what had transpired.

"Josh?" Drake asked, "Why did you murder Craig and Eric?"

"To avenge my dear love…" Josh murmured with tears streaming from his face.

"Really? Are you _still_ bitter about the time Craig and Eric accidentally killed your girlfriend?"  
"Really? How much of an accident was it that me and Mindy were sitting there on that bench when Craig and Eric just so happened to be on a unicycle sitting on top of eachother while juggling grenades and Eric 'accidentally' throws one of the grenades into Mindy's mouth, causing her to swallow it and violently explode? They had it out for me Drake, I know it."

"They didn't throw it, they dropped it."

"You callin' me a liar?"

"No, but I ain't callin you a truther!"

Drake opened the door, he thought it was a tad peculiar that the door was unlocked, but he didn't think much of it. As soon as the bickering brothers walked in, they were greeted by an intense aroma of pennies. They looked around, and saw a bit of an oddity; their little sister's decapitated head was resting atop a pike in the middle of the living room.

"Sweet mother of Arceus!" Drake hollered, "Megan's dead!"

"Who'd do such a thing?" pondered Josh.

"Megan…" they both whispered.

"Oh wait…" Josh said, "She's dead…"

Josh sat on the couch and began lamenting. He always seemed to get the short end of the stick in life. He was unpopular, single, and now his stepsister was dead. It was so unfair that he worked so hard but always seemed to get screwed over. He was sick of this, and it was time for him to do something about it. He needed to ascend into godhood and shape the world his way.

He ran up into him and Drake's room, on his shelf was a red, spherical game console sitting on his shelf, it was the Game Sphere. The Game Sphere was supposed to contain immense quantities of godly power, at least according to the shady fellow who sold it to Josh in a dark alley. He always wondered in the back of his mind if what that man said was true. If it was, why didn't he attain godly power before?

It was at that point, Josh noticed that the Game Sphere had a missing part. This was strange, Josh didn't remember misplacing anything, unless… His eyes widened, he rushed out of the room and into the living room. Drake then approached him.

"Josh! Look what I found!"

It was a note. The note said "Look outside" scrawled in blood. Josh rushed outside to find that a giant hole and been dug in their yard. Drake followed him out the back door, and watched Josh leap into the mysterious hole.

"I'm comin' Josh!" Drake yelled, his echo reverberated through the tunnel.

Drake sprang into the dark abyss and fell several hundred feet deep into the earth. His fall was broken by him crashing on Josh's back.

"Auugh! Drake get off me!" Josh yelled, the echo once again reverberating through the chuckle.

"It's too dark in here. You got a light?" Drake asked.

"No." Josh responded, turning his head back at Drake.

"Maybe a koopa could lend us his if we _persuade him…_ "

Josh tugged blindly into his pocket and pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight app. The bright light illuminated the subterranean tunnel, revealing a path.

"Come on!" Josh whispered, traversing his way through the tunnel.

Drake followed him, continuing their trek through the chasm with only a phone's light to keep them company. All they could see were stone walls.

It seemed like hours until either of them saw anything but rock, but eventually they came across a very worn-looking door with aged wood and covered with scratches.

"What do you think could be behind it?" Drake asked.

"We'll never know if we don't go." Josh responded, "and we'll never shine if we don't glow."

"Josh, I really don't think this is a good idea,"

"We can't give up now Drake! We're in way too deep into this."

Josh turned the rusty knob and creaked open the door. It was completely empty room, lying in the center of the floor was a folded piece of paper. Josh picked it up and unfolded it.

The paper had a drawing of the world, with a little dotted line starting from where they lived. The line had lead to the middle of the ocean to an "X" drawn on the map.

"What is it?" asked Drake

"I think it's a map,"

"Do you know where it leads?"

Josh examined the map, "It seems the coordinates lead to the lost city of Atlantis!"

"Okay… how are we gonna get to Atlantis?" Drake asked.

"Never fear! I got a solution!"

Josh pulled a little golden cube in his pocket.

"What is that?" Drake asked.

"I stole it from Craig and Eric's house. It's the Portable Logistical Obligatory Transportation Device! or P.L.O.T. Device for short. It's gonna scan this map, and transport us to Atlantis!"

"Are you sure about this?" Drake sighed,

"Drake listen to me!" Josh yelled, grabbing Drake by the shoulders and shaking him around,

"It's all coming together! The note, the map, me noticing the missing part of the Game Sphere, it's all here! Do you believe in destiny Drake? I do. It's the the only thing that keeps me going! And now, it finally pays off!"

Josh used the P.L.O.T. device to examine the map, and suddenly, Drake and Josh were surrounded by a bright light that whisked them both away. The next thing they knew, they were in a strange place with a bunch of old, grey statues and collapsed palaces and temples lying around everywhere. They looked up and saw that the place they were in was surrounded by a large dome-like structure. They saw blueness, fish swimming around and distorted sunlight.

"Where here!" Josh sang gleefully, "HUG ME BROTHA!"

The two of them grappled each other while laughing but then started to hear mysterious clapping… They looked to their corner and saw a guy with a shaved head wearing a red vest with the letter "P" on it and a blue shirt underneath the vest. He had this sinister smile and was clapping slowly and sarcastically.

"Welcome." He said, "I have been waiting for you."

"Crazy Steve?" Josh was shocked, "What are you doing here?"

"Ha! You fools, I lured you here so I can finally destroy you!" Crazy Steve cackled.

"But why?" asked Drake.

Crazy Steve revealed a zipper on top of his head, he pulled at it, and the facade of Steve left to reveal who was really inside. It was a blue octopus wearing a brown shirt and had a big, floppy nose.

"DAD!?" Drake yelled.

"Yes son, it is I, Squidward. Your real Dad!" he said in a nasally voice.

"Why are you here?" Drake asked.

"Don't you see? I was spying on you two for your whole teenage years under my disguise as this so-called "Crazy Steve". I always had the missing piece to the Game Sphere and when the time was right, I dug the hole and placed the map to Atlantis at the bottom of the hole! It was all a part of my master plan to lure you to Atlantis, so I could complete the Game Sphere and become a god! You literally brought the Game Sphere directly to me!" Squidward bellowed an evil laugh.

"So it was you who killed Megan!" Josh accused.

"Well of course I did! She was impure and the result of Drake's mom cheating on me. You ever wondered why she's half asian and Drake isn't?"

"That's a good point actually…" Drake responded.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Squidward shouted, "Drake, embrace your heritage as Drake Tentacles, and together, we can rule the universe under the squid-person master race!"

"NEVER!" Drake hollered,

"Then I shall destory you!"

Squidward pulled out his clarinet and began playing it. Sour music notes flew out and hit Drake, the notes burned like hot coal and Drake howled in pain. Squidward continued blaring music notes at him, but Josh jumped in front of Drake to protect him.

"Josh you pathetic fool!" Squidward snarled, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I am protecting my kin!" Josh snapped, "Something you failed at!"

"You will eat those words…" the cephalopod scumbag grunted.

Josh helped Drake up, and then they both did a fusion dance causing them to fuse together into Drosh.

"Muhahaha!" laughed Squidward. "Your powers are still miles below mine! Even if your fused form!"

"That's what you think but it's not over yet!" yelled Drosh.

Squidward shot sour notes from his clarinet at Drosh, but Drosh punches them away with his fists. Squidward charged at them, but then stopped in disbelief seeing what Drosh was doing.

"Time to end this once and for all!" Drosh recoiled his hands backward,

"DUROSHU PANCHU!" Drosh shot a giant epic punch surrounded in was so powerful it caused Squidward to disintegrate and die.

Drake and Josh unfused, and were very gruntled about helping eachother out. Josh pulled out the P.L.O.T. device and it detected the missing piece of the Game Sphere. Josh connected the missing piece and it began glowing a golden color. Josh let out a sinister grin.

"Finally!" he cackled maniacally. "This world is mine!"

"Josh what are you doing!" Drake yelled, concerned at this point.

Josh absorbed the Game Sphere's godly power. Josh then transformed into a golden glowing sphere with a face.

"Now I am truly spherical" he said.

Josh had ascended into godhood, but Drake didn't quite know what to think.

"Welp, time to destroy everything!" Josh declared.

"What! But why?"

"This world doesn't fit my vision" said God Josh.

"But what about me?" asked Drake

"Neither do you Drake. It was all a ruse. I pretended to care about you so you can assist me. But now your usefulness has come to end for you are but an insignificant speck in my grand vision. I can't foresee anything worthwhile from you" responded God Josh.

"Foresee this!" Drake threw the P.L.O.T. device at God Josh,

The P.L.O.T. device began to suck away God Josh's power.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!1!" said God Josh as his powers faded.

In one last ditch attempt at revenge on Drake, he tried shooting a laser at Drake and missed. All of Josh's power was soon gone within seconds. But the laser destroyed the dome protecting Atlantis, killing them both. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself…

The End.


End file.
